A-paradoxes

Religions

1. Atheists are probably the worst with morality. In the worstest of the worse cases they are acting kindly knowingly that there is no higher force to punish them.

2. Obnoxiousness of Atheists is peculiar. They jump on against every explanation of how the universe was created but when challenged back to give a better explanation, they know nothing.

3. Silly is the idea of universe created out of nothingness. Sillier is the idea that nothing created everything. Still some of them say that they don't know.

4. Paradoxes should be broken down to at least two categories. Those that are paradoxes, and those that are not. We can put it to a poll. Or to a referendum.

5. You cannot choose your beliefs unless you are an Atheist. Then it is always a choice. At least that's what Atheists say to Theists when they ask why they are Atheists. Theists think that Atheists are trying to be funny.

6. If there wouldn't be so many cinematic versions of Bible then the Game of Thrones would be challenged every year. Not with just dragons. The cast would be a lot bigger, and they would all die. And if an important character dies the writers would make the character come back even after the death. The Bold And The Beautiful has run over 20 years.

7. What is the religion of Jedis called? Is it Jedism, or Jeduism?

8. Followers of Zen seem to be asking a lot of questions and even answering them with a question, don't they? Are those Zen dudes really that stupid?

9. Matrix-trilogy is a much better movie series if you think that Neo never got out of the Matrix. Matrixception.

10. Only a few people critical towards religion knew how to use footnotes. Look where they are now.

11. Someday there is going to be a thing called iReligion. Probably from the PC people. There is nothing wrong or bad about products with an apple logo. First people afraid of the brand were performing on Betamax.

12. There probably was a man who had an apple falling to his head. I don't know if he was actually called philosopher because of that. It might have actually been an appraisal at that time so I don't want to take it away from him either.

Newer production

Children should be let to decide their own names. As long as we want to believe that they are able to do it.

Do you have one cigarette to spare? Regardless of the thank you's, you shouldn't be smoking.

I've been watching dead children floating on the line of water and sun. They might be dead. Could be fake. Somebody calls them illegal.
(In Finnish somebody called them welfare surfers)

The fortress I live in is not the language I stay in.

There is no magic in writing poetry. It just happens a letter at the time. In thoughts there are pictures as well, but no magic. They always come out clear.

I've done my private research is the new expert. Luckily I'm no expert to say otherwise.

Blogger who is against the mainstream media should be aware of the count of his readers.

It's funny how cool the weather is when you are thinking how hot the debate about climate is. Hopefully they will meet halfway the Köppen.

My first sip of cognac was the most distasteful act of oral injection. I feel nostalgic about the toothpastes that taste like candy.

I've read a study that clever people have a ready-to-use grammar of 1000 words all the time, and normal people have only like 200. I used 140 already on Monday.

Psychology is like horoscopes but with a scientific methodology. People who believe in it want to cure themselves.

Guy in debt is the most gracious. Guy owning all the debts avoids taxes. I'm just the middle man in the company. You will play again - we are counting on it.

There are two kinds of managers I like. The ones who are supporting my work and the ones that keep distance.

Why Are You Still Looking for Headlines?

If we outsource all of the intelligence, who would notice?

Life is a peach but not a pear. Nobody can fight against a full-grown pear. I only know one fictive character doing that. He survived. The pear did not.

If I'm measuring my intelligence, how long will it take for me to know what I'm measuring?

No-one can be told about the new Playboy 4. But two people who has experienced it can talk about it. Will they be talking about the page numbers or the games they play?

Always when I'm looking at the old female pictures, I think they are a bit of conservative. We should protect the new picture!

I like people who know how to answer the right questions, don't you?

It's nice to know that performance art is not dead. I just read about it, and it seems to be thriving. 

You know people who hate politicians who say a lot and still so little. I wish they wouldn't talk so much.

When asked how I always make things look so easy, I say it's magic. Magicians never show their tricks. They make it look so hard. 

I miss those old book clubs where you would be send books every month with a price of a yearly subscription and you would just archive them into your bookcase. Internet destroyed it.

Would you accept Groucho Marx into your club? I would just post his application to Internet, and let him deal with the after shower. I would use my own name.

Do you remember when you were kids and toys were smaller than you. Then you grew up and so did the toys. And the budgets. And the bills. And the inflation. And your kids.

I still laugh about the time during that sad Christmas when I was hoping for a cancer that would kill me fast and painlessly, and I got a Playstation 4. I still haven't finished any of the games that I have bought. 

Of course every European knows that Santa Claus is from Finland, and American that he is from North Pole, and 9 percent of Christians that Jesus is from Bethlehem. I made the statistics up just to stop people mocking religions. 

Aphorisms for the weak

I hate violence, so I kicked it in the face.

Remember when ancient Romans were a cliche.

There was a time when professional meant getting paid for. Now we can see professional jobseekers everywhere.

What does time have to do with it, when you are already late.

Who are we to say what we hear?

Powerful are the weak, when they think of the opposite.

If the most famous fictional Danish prince Hamlet was a real thing, he would still speak English.

If Chuck Norris laughed at himself, people would have hard time deciding, is it a matter of life and a roundhouse kick.

Chickens lay eggs, eggs are like children, does it mean if I drop them, they will crack.

When walking in straight line and nobody is monitoring, is the line really straight, or are we just too gay to notice it at all.

If you wish for rain, and it doesn't rain, is it a rainy day then?

Some say to vegetarians, that Hitler was the most well known vegetarian, and he had just one ball. People forget how a great guy Josef Stalin was.

Man walks into a pub. The pub never forgave him.

It is said that all the good things in life come in small packages. Does that mean that the big ones doesn't?

If you open your heart to the whole wide world, there is going to be a draft inside.

Teaching children to behave is like behaving amongst children. 

Don't do compromises. When you start doing those, you have to do them for the rest of your life. So don't.

Don't ask what your country can do for you, ask where is it.

When doing Sudokus or crossword puzzles, always use paintball. Using a pencil is practicing. Bosses and chiefs use paintballs.

Discussing of offsides is the art of understanding. 

Why would anybody want an iphone 5, when they could get a cancer and die alone?

I want to write laws, which nobody obeys, but always think that there should be something written about it.

Remote control is usually in the refrigerator, pencil behind your ear, glasses on your forehead, but there is really no place for abrupt poems.

I've had problems with my eyes, so I'm trying different glasses. This one is filled with Guinness.